Liner Notes:

This is a partially true story. Names have been changed to protect the guilty and the even guiltier.

This really should be done with a full band with horns, so imagine that sort of thing. (I have been listening to Brian Setzer recently… can you tell?)

(In case it’s not clear, the stuff he swallowed is laxative)

Lyrics:

Listen to the story of Larry the leech
He’d snatch anything that was left in his reach
He’d claim anything you were sure to lose

Larry was living in a room with a view
In my place on park avenue
If he bought any food it was certainly news

He would take all the pennies and leave you the jar
And suck all the gas from the tank in your car
He’d drink all the soda and leave you the glass

We finally said that enough is enough
We came up with a plan to hang on to our stuff
We were the teachers and he was the class

(Chorus)
So if you are staying at somebody’s place
Don’t be rude and stuff your face
Be good to your friends and pay for your ride
If you can’t pay then at least say please
Don’t be caught with Larry’s disease
Or you may find yourself on the steps outside

We made up a batch of his favorite drink
And left it where it would be gone in a wink
Then we added the sting to the evil brew

Like a fish Larry fell for the bait
Then ran out the door saying he was gonna be late
With a mouth full of stuff to push everything through

Larry came back a bit later that night
Look like a dog that’d been through a fight
He said “I can not eat my girls cooking again”

I don’t know what it was that I ate
It looked like a mess upon the plate
I spent three hours stuck in the can”

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